Where is my home?

Was google-earthing..
Thought of taking a snap-shot of my place. It's not very clear. But A looks like Kangla-park. The yellow line must be Tiddim Road. And, B sud be my place (the circled part is the airport).
Nostalgia!!

A dream

i was hugging her
i slept

i dreamt
i was carrying her
she was a child

i woke up
i was hugging her

Because We Can

“I was floating above heaven; I think that’s why nothing made sense.”

“Do you hear yourself? You’re not making any sense!”

“I know, it sounds crazy, but I’m telling you, the only reason we didn’t know is because we brought it with us.”

“What?” His fists had unclenched he was interested again.

Johnnie just smiled, ” Earth.”

There was a long pause, the interrogation had to have a break, and the officer just paced the room looking around, thinking hard, as one does when given a paradox of their reality. He turned, curious as ever, and began again. “Why did you do it, then? Why would anyone do it, Johnnie?”

Johnnie just shrugged and grinned, as he was prone to do since he got back. “Because we can.”

Why?

Within

Dreary feelings,
A gleaming hope?

Creepy blackness,
A rousing light?

Countless dialogues,
A concealed cause?

Blatant anger
A hidden calm?

Seeming dislike,
A fervent love?

Lifeless history,
A pristine start?

For those who came in late..

For those who came in late and early in my life.
For those moments of solitariness and ruminations.
For the times when ive searched for the "real" me .
For the times when ive doubted myself and others .
For the times when ive felt really alone n yet so much belonged to someone.
For my happiness and for others .
For the trying times that lay ahead of me.
For those who know me or want to know me.
For those who have helped me and sought mine.
For the one who can and will change my life then and forever hence .
For now, and then.

Yum yum

A dosa fest, it was called. What i saw was this: 10+ varieties of dosas, a couple or two of uttapams, 250+ students and an unending queue.

But it was a welcome change in the mess, especially after being treated to food that have an inherent enmity with ur appetite, day in and day out. There was a bit of an apprehension about the quality of food to be served in the fest, after reading those flyers that read “Eat our dosas…Make all faces.” But the food turned out to be fine. And as I said, a welcome change.

The beginning of the semester saw a slight increase in the quality of the food, but it turned out to be deceptive. Soon, we were to describe food with ‘something-that-looks-like’. For example,
“What’s there for grub today?”
“There’s something-that-looks-like-gobi with something-that-looks-like-parantha.”

Good thing that I can have home food (ngari and stuff) in the odd weekend, or I would have been emaciated by now.

Detour:

365 tomorrows brings out a new short speculative fiction (Asimov, anyone?) each day, for an entire year (started August this year). There are 5 authors in this collaborative project. As of now, all I can say is, it’s awesome!! Perfect for today’s take-a-glance-of-a-page-and-move-on readers, and perfect for serious s.f fans. Also, for readers who find it too laborious to pick up an Asimov, Clarke or even Crichton. My current favorites are-
- The nine billion names of god
- Soul drive
- Outer space romance

Heaven 7 is a real time 3-d ray tracing animation. Lasting 2 minutes and 48 seconds, the file is an impossibly small 64 kb! Accompanied by a haunting music and text. Download here

Chitrangada is the new babe to watch out. Oozing sensuality. It’s been long since we saw a Smita Patil or a Shabana Azmi.

The striker’s dilemma

My cell-phone rang in the now familiar ‘There she goes’ tune. However, I had no intention of attending to the call, precariously poised as I was, and engrossed in a game of Counterstrike (though I admit I am a novice still of the game). Though my right foot was firmly rooted to the ground, my left foot was on my desk, beside my keyboard. Three of my fingers were hovering excitedly over the keys a, s, w, d, with my thumb over the [spacebar] and the little finger ready to duck [shift]. My right hand was on the mouse, fiddling over the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, which I had for want of a suitable mouse-pad. (I have had opportunities to procure it from the Department Computer Center on three or more occasions before, but my prickly conscience always did me in.)

Some may argue vehemently against the positioning of my limbs thus, but I can guarantee the comfort achieved consequently. I can go as far as say that this is the most comfortable position achievable but shall stop a little short of it.

Now, my cell-phone was still ringing, but I was too busy cursing the server for kicking me out from the ensuing game, again, and again. I vowed I would stop playing if and when I got kicked the next, which happened a few tens of seconds later.

Later, I found a missed call and two messages. The missed call was from a friend two rooms away from mine. The messages were:
1. Dinner? (the one who gave me the missed call)
2. u will be happy that u got a message u can forward to people. But then this message contains nothing!

Ughh!!!

Jobless!!

Edited: Post-dinner, 13th September. I have been staring at this Josie Maran (bet his dad is a terrorist, the bomb that she is) wallpaper for a few minutes now, contemplating my next course of action (or inaction). Decided to add these reflective comments to this post, which i didn't have time for, before.

A cancelled class..a novel that just got over..and a jobless me!!

Your Outrageous Name is:

Mike Hawk [beats me, hands down]

Outrageous Name Generator

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Arrogant Mathematician. [the life of pi?] Where You Lived: Germany. [the rise and rise of the 3rd reich] How You Died: Consumption. [not constipation, thank u]

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You are Agonistic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. [i really dont ]
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
[who wants to leave it to Fate anyway]
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You're a Shy Kisser

You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out But you've got plenty of intensity in return [oh yeah!!]

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. [im always bored] You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming! [and lucky for me, 'some' even lovable!!]

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Jokes apart.

Jokes can be pretty funny sometimes.

Once, a particularly profound joke of mine exacted a response more than I bargained for. The victim murmured something that sounded like, "You bloody…", and as he searched for a suitable qualifier/noun, the following images flashed by in front of him, all in quick succession – pig, butter, girl, rice, puke, football, Maria Sharapova, a dog, a chappal, puke, his PC, rasam, a butterfly – rewound three images and settled on puke. However, he felt a lump in his throat and the word got drowned in the ensuing pandemonium. Finally, he rolled up his eyes in acute pain and in utter and complete submission (i hoped it was due to ecstasy, but apparently, it wasn't). Since this incident, I try not to lose any opportunity to let anyone escape this torment, and have, so far, fairly succeeded too.

Now, there are jokes that are funny, jokes that are not funny, and jokes that are funny in being not funny. The last category amuses me to no end. There are different kinds of them, all with their subtle differences – meta-jokes, non-jokes, anti-jokes, and of course, shaggy dog stories. The classification may vary for some people, but most non-funny jokes will fall into one of these categories. Though the responses may vary for different people, it’s surely worth a try!!!

WARNING: I advise u not to read my two previous posts, as they are non-funny jokes and, more importantly, may offend some people. Please do so only if u are insanely curious, and at ur own risk.

Two fags and a boat

(Please read the post above before reading this)

A guy is traveling alone in a boat. He has two fags, but has nothing to light them with. Assuming the cigarettes he has are not Gold flake lights, how does he get to light a cigarette?

Sol #1. He throws one of them into water. The boat becomes lighter

Sol #2. He starts praising one of them. The other burns out of jealousy.

Sol #3. He throws them up and catches them. Now, catches win matches.

Sol #4. Sprinkle some water on one of them. Tip tip barsa pani….pani ne aag lagayi

Sol #5. Make a mark on one of the fags. Daag – the fire!!!

The shaggiest shaggy dog story ever

(Please read the post above before reading this)
A kid found a stray dog on the road. It started clinging on to him. So, he brought it home and showed it to his mom.
"Mom, isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" he asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" said the mom. "I will show it to ur dad.”
His mom showed it to her husband.
"Honey, isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" she asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered her husband. "I’ll show it to my boss!"
The man took the dog to his boss.
"I want to show u something, boss." he said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" he asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" said his boss. "I want to show it to my wife."
He took it back home to his wife.
"Dear, look what I’ve brought for u today" he said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" he asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered his wife. "I want to show it to my saheli."
She took it and showed it to her friend.
"I brought a dog today," she said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" she asked.
Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered her friend. "I’ll show it to my husband"
She showed the dog to her husband, who was some BJP big shot.
"Dekhiye ji, kya laya hun main aap ke liye." she said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" she asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered her husband. "I’ll show it to Atalji"
He took the dog to Atal Behari Vajpayee’s place.
"Atal ji, take a look at this." he said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" she asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered Atal. "I’ll show it to the PM "
He goes to meet the PM.
"Singhji, kuch laya hun main aap ke liye." he said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" he asked.
"Why yes, that is the shaggiest dog I ever saw!" answered the PM, elated. "I’ll show it to Soniaji"
"Soniaji, I’ve brought something for u." he said. "Isn't that the shaggiest dog you ever saw?" he asked.
"No," said Soniaji.

First Fifty to Familiarity

You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was "but we've always done it this way." A million dead people can't have been wrong, can they?
--Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

Two hours to go before the next class, and I’m unable to crash. So here I am, again. I stumbled upon this simple, crisp format in some blog and thought I could put it to good use.

So, without further ado, here’s my ‘First Fifty to Familiarity’-

1. I won’t panic ever
2. Unless there is something very vague and useless thought occupying my nimble brain
3. I like movies with endings that make u wanna say, “what the fuck!!”
4. I feel that the world needs smart people more than industrious ones
5. I can run a marathon of 8 kms without giving up
6. I’m chronically lazy, lazier than most people around me
7. I feel that the eyes are the sexiest part of a woman
8. I’m straight
9. I’m scared of girls
10. I’m mortally terrified of water and fire too
11. I like contradictions
12. And oxymorons and goldwynisms and spoonerisms
13. My sis used to be my best friend
14. Now, someone else is
    
15. I feel a bit uncomfortable telling people about my personal life.
    
16. I could listen to Pink Floyd an entire day and not get tired of it
17. I think Jim Morrison is one of the ‘stud’-est guys ever on the planet
18. I hate to use words like fate, fuck, fear, fire
19. I love to use words like lol, hmmm, ‘Have-u-heard- this-joke?’
20. I’m bankrupt most of the time
21. I puked booze (only) once until now
22. I find the hare in “the Hare and the Tortoise” the dumbest of all children story book characters
23. But I feel that the moral of the story is completely misconstrued
24. I consider it one of the greatest sins to flip the channel when someone is ardently watching something on tv
25. If some beggar comes up to me with a kid in her arms, I wont give her anything
26. If a child beggar sings or performs something really well, I might
27. I would prefer to get wet in the rains rather than wear a raincoat (if mom allows me to get wet, that is)
28. I don’t dream, and if I do , I hardly remember them
29. And if I remember at all, it would be all too disconnected and too vague
30. I used to pray
31. Now, I don’t. I feel that praying for urself is selfish; it’s ok to pray for others
32. I’m finding this shit really tough to write
33. I have no idea where I’m heading to
34. I wish I did
35. Weirdo fascinates me!!
36. I like to surprise people
37. I love getting surprised myself
38. Sometimes, I surprise myself
39. I’m not a good liar
40. I like misleading people though
41. I think I’m better than most people around me
42. Aham brahmasmi
43. I’m tired of writing this. I need to get some rest
44. I’m back
45. I’d prefer a quiet night alone in the park to a party with a multitude of people
46. I’m more or less content
47. I believe it is the finest virtue of a human being to seek his/her own personal happiness
48. I love food, but I’m not sure if the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart
49. I’d hate to make someone hate me
50. I was here. So were you.

Movie Marathon

It’s fun watching movies. And it’s more fun watching three movies at one go. Scouring the insti LAN for movies is fun too. But not so much as watching them.

This weekend, we decided to have a movie marathon. And I was the eventual winner (there was no one left in the end but me).

We started off with Heist(7) - a movie about gold and greed. Cross, double-cross, twists, turns and a powerful cast with the likes of Gene Hackman, Danny DeVito and Delroy Lindo make the movie worth watching. U will love the way Gene makes everyone a ..er..what’s the euphemism for a chutiya?

"What makes the world go 'round?"
"Gold."
"Thought it was love."
"Yes, it is love. Love of gold."

The next two movies were Before Sunset(8.5) and Before Sunrise(8). And this is where my fellow runners decided to call it quits. Now, one thing. I don’t like watching romantic comedies unless
a. it has Julia Roberts in the lead
b. it has a scene where the guy carries the girl away in a flying saucer.

As u see, I have to settle for the former most of the time.

I have always put off watching these two movies thinking they would be romantic comedies but was i to be surprised!! I started off with Before Sunset (a sequel to the other one). The movie captures the conversation between a guy and a girl as they stroll around the city - Paris - for a few hours before the guy leaves in a flight. For more than an hour in the 80 minute- movie, they talk about their experiences, their interests, their lives, environment and anything under the sun.

The two had first met nine years ago in a train in the movie Before Sunrise. Here, they spend a night at Vienna and here too, they talk, talk and talk.

I like movies with a beautiful ending - like a good novel or a game of chess - and the open endings are brilliant in both the movies. Though, the one in Before Sunset is better – as if their lives stop there, a moment in time. The characters are fuller, too, in Before Sunset.

I haven’t seen Ethan Hawke deliver a better performance in any of his other films, and Julie Delby impresses with a mature yet cute performance. I won’t be surprised to find people fall in love with the two characters.

Here are the 3-sentence reviews of some of the movies I watched/ rewatched this month.

The Hidden Fortress(8.3). Another Akira Kurosawa classic, it portrays royalty, loyalty, greed, treason in their finest and ugliest forms – all with a dash of humor. The movie apparently is the inspiration for the star wars. You will love the movie for the characters in it.

Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya(0.5). I laboured myself into watching 10 minutes of the film. It became too taxing and I gave up. This is the third sentence.

Yakeen(5). I’m sure the story of this movie must have been flicked from a Hollywood one, though I cant point out which. A good story loses way due to a crappy direction and acting. Watch it for Arjun Rampal if u have to.

Stealth.(6) A robotic stealth plane develops a mind of its own. Hey, don’t ask me for more. I was too busy trying to cross a score of 1300 in snake (which I couldn’t, finally).

Oh Brother where art thou(8.5). Inspired by Homer’s Odyssey, the movie narrates the story of three convicts who escape from the jail in search of a ‘treasure’. As the blind seer says, “You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.” The musical score is one of the best I have heard.

Kung-fu Hustle(7.5). A movie watchable just for the characters. The dancing axe-gang leader, the barber with an exhibiting ass, the screaming land-lady, the mute candy-seller, and the rest make it worthwhile. All with a brilliant graphics and exquisite humor.

Schindler’s List(9). Liam Neeson should have beaten Tom Hanks (who got it for Philadelphia) to the Oscars for this one. Loved the scene where Schindler drops the ring given him in the end. Compelling performances by Kingsley and Fiennes too.

Man, a good half an hour wasted (or utilized?) for this post. Gotta run do some work now!!

4 haikus

(1)
A blank stare
An unmoving screen
And I wait

(2)
Rain-drops bring
Vague, still memories
A faint touch

(3)
At night – a
Passionate embrace
My pillow

(4)
Purring lion
Dumb at times but this
Diamond shines

I am God

This is the height of noodliness!! The ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ is the overlord of a new parody religion- ‘Pastafarianism’. (Remember the famous Rastafarian Bob Marley, anyone???). Wikipedia has more.

Some interesting ‘facts’ about the religion –

• Prayers are ended with the word Ramen rather than Amen.
• Like the noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.
• Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.
• Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s.

The open letter to the K.S. Board by the creator and self-proclaimed ‘prophet’ of the religion, Bobby Henderson, is particularly enlightening. It includes a reader’s response –

Bobby,

Today I was blessed to receive a divine revelation from our Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. I have the privilege of informing you that it is His will that I become His Bride, in order that the Savior of mankind (who is to be called Macaroni) may be born on this earth. The FSM has revealed to me that your body is to be the vehicle by whichhis holy seed shall be transmitted in earthly form.

To that end, I have reserved a room for us at the Best Western Airport Inn, Boise, Idaho, for the evening of [removed]. I will be the woman wearing the WWFSMD t-shirt and eye patch.

I look forward to meeting you and fulfilling the will of our noodly master.

Julie
Boise, Idaho

The Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Invisible pink unicorn, the invisible green dragon. What else now?? What about some Swimming Red Kanglasha, or perhaps a Simmering Spotted Sangai for our own Manipur??