You have two cows

Unimaginative/Pragmatic people: You have two cows.

Light bulb Jokes: How many cows does it take to change a light bulb? Two

Absolute Monarchy: The king has two cows. At the end he gets hanged, and so do the cows.

Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. He then executes a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by your CFO who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on six more. The public buys your bull.

Fatalism: You have two cows. You die.

Pure Communism: Your cow is my cow too. My cow is none of your business.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

The 3 Dot Language: ...

Two Cows: You have us.

Catcher in the Rye: This one time, you had two cows, but then you got to thinking about all the phonies getting their milk and that made you kind of sad so you let them go.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: You have 42 cows.

The Fountainhead: I have two cows.

Terry Pratchett: You thought you had two cows, but in reality one was the Death of Cows and went 'MOO' all the time, whereas the other was actually someone who had severely annoyed a witch. This sort of thing happens an awful lot.

Nietzsche: Two cows are dead.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke these cows!

Nihilism:

Pragmatism: There are cows.

Minimalism: Cow. Cow.

Yoda: Two cows, you have.

R2D2: beep beep blip beep

Michael Jackson: Hey, are those two calves?

Oscar Wilde: "You have two cows." —Oscar Wilde

The Oracle: "Having two cows is like being in love, Neo."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: We are the Two Cows Who Say Ni!

Descartian Analysis: You think, therefore you have two cows.

Cowell Analysis: Those are quite possibly the worst two cows I have ever heard.

Unknown Analysis: To err is to be human. To have two cows is bovine.

Tamil: Ungalidam irandu Pasukkal ullana. Pasu paal kodukkum.

Manipuri: Nangi san ani lei.

Pink Floyd (Syd Barrett): I've got two cows. You can milk them if you like.

Pink Floyd (early 70s): You have [17 minute instrumental] Two cows