Bird flew

The first reported case in Asia was by a Korean poultry farmer. One fine morning, he discovered that one of his chickens was missing, and innocently uttered, “Bird flew.” Den, dey thot da name wasn’t k3wL enuff, and ‘bird flu’ was born. Since then, birds started flying everywhere else, with the latest flights being sighted in France, Nigeria and Iraq, as reported by u-know-WHO.

Apart from birds, flying pigs have been sighted, though in much lesser numbers. Flying humans have been sighted too, but in very, very rare cases. But then, who wants to fly anwyay? Though it has not been specifically proved, some human flights have been linked to sightings of bird flight. Experts have advised to cook them and their eggs properly to render them flightless.

The term has been effectively used by PETA (Professional Extreme Tacticians in Air) to further their cause. They iterate that among the varied hazards of flying is that u can fly into an unassuming bird and drop dead any time. For quite sometime now, they have been distributing t-shirts that read –

Bird flu
Will u?

in the front and a picture of a dead chicken in the back.

One way to prevent flying of birds, apart from separating them from the flying flock and clipping their wings, is to employ bird flu waxing vaccine. It is supposed to make them inactive and unmoving. Apparently, chickens thus rendered, especially broilers, are extremely sensitive to fright and shock. Last heard, a marriage ceremony had left 99 chickens in a poultry farm dead the next morning. Consequent investigations showed that it had nothing to do with the fact that it was a Punjabi marriage. The case was finally dropped when it was discovered that the only survivor in the calamity was a dumb chick. And it was not a blonde even!

“Technology is to be blamed. It’s made us lazy; all we do is sit, eat and sleep. After sometimes, we won’t even be able to attend Punjabi marriages.” – a socialite.

“Birds fly, they don’t flew.” – George Bush

"Actually, they do." - Oscar Wilde.

I crave for some sleep

The air stirs reluctantly

And your thoughts blind me.

Scouring the deepest
strata of my memories
For a perfect gift.

You and me, alone
The empty skies above, and
a tractor, perhaps.

(14th Feb.)

Movie marathon II : Koreans attack

These Korean movies are a revelation. Superb story-telling with some neat acting have made these movies make my list of all-time favorites. Not to forget the beautiful background score that underlines all of them.

Memories of murder (8/10)

You guessed it right. There’s a serial killer in the movie, but the movie is more about the investigators - two rural cops and a special detective from the capital - than the killer.

The investigators lives get consumed by the growing frustration in being unable to nab the killer, and they start pursuing their own tactics to do so. The pace of the movie helps in intensifying the emotions involved.

I can’t believe I laughed in the first half of the movie, and trust me, some scenes are quite funny. The way the story evolved is unimaginable and would leave you glued to ur seat till the end.

Based on a true case. (Apparently, the killer was never caught.)

Oldboy (7.5/10)

The movie everyone is talking about post-Zinda.

An ordinary guy is kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years, making him wonder why and by whom he is being imprisoned. When he is released abruptly, the question why he is released becomes more important to him than why he was kidnapped. His past gets unraveled as he seeks to find the answers to his questions.

There are certain things that might put off a part of the audience, least among them being the violence that would make your bones creak. The story is shocking and the way it’s being told is no less so, perhaps exactly what the director wants.

Wonder if it’s the director’s fault or the actors’, but couldn’t help noticing a room for improvement in their acting, specially the guy who played the avenger. Oh, but didn’t the director get the Grand Prize of the jury at Cannes?

My sassy girl (8.3/10)

The name misled me, and I presumed it to be another cheap ‘sissy’ movie. (Remember ‘Sex is zero’?) And so, I watched it post-lunch in the weekend to help me in my afternoon nap. I was in for a surprise, and a mighty pleasant one at that.

An inept, awkward guy and a dominating, fist-yielding tomboy make an interesting leading couple. Their relationship, a different one at that, goes through ups and downs, drawing the viewers’ unwavering attention along with it. The storytelling is tight, and yet flows like a breeze. Each thread is woven to perfection to present the fabric that the movie is.

Based on a series of true stories posted by Ho-sik Kim on the Internet describing his relationship with his girlfriend, which were later transformed into a best-selling book.

Now, time for my 3-sentence reviews.

36 Quai des Orfèvres (French) (8/10). The two best actors of France come together to play two cops standing on diametrically opposite principles. The tug-of-war between the two protagonists, accentuated by some neat action sequences leaves u spellbound. If you found “Heat’’ boring, this is the movie to get you over your boredom.

Lord of war (7/10). A perfectly cynical Nicholas Cage will make u smirk, while the reality will stun u. A perfect portrayal of the anti-hero. “You know who's going to inherit the world? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other.”

Monella (Italian) (6/10). This is my first movie of the genre – erotic comedy. The director had a tough job portraying nudity in a humorous vein, but pulls it off amazingly. With a pretty actress to boot.

Goodnight and good luck (8/10). The use of black and white documentary footages merges seamlessly with the movie. Worth watching for the speeches delivered by David Strathairn. Another directorial triumph for George Clooney after ‘Confessions of a Dangerous Mind’.

Broken flowers (7/10). Looks like an extension of Bill Murray’s character in Lost in Translation, with the same laid-back, lazy rendering. Surprised to find Sharon Stone in a truncated appearance. Good performances by all his ex-gfs in the movie.

Jawani diwani (0.5/10). One of the good things about watching a movie on comp – u can scroll through it. Saw this movie in less than 6 minutes. Yeah!!

Blue Velvet (6.5/10). David Lynch is the director, and that says more about the movie than anything else that follows. Less surreal than Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway. The hovering tension grips u throughout the movie.

Aeon flux (4/10). The movie would have looked good if it were animated. Points for Charlize’s attire. Otherwise forgettable.

Tidhanic. 13 minutes of laugh – that’s what the movie(???) will give u. When u have Leonardo and Kate Winslet delivering dialogues in Tamil, the hilarity consumes u. Loved the part where Rose’s fiancée says, “I love u daaaa.”, in the fundamental tam accent.

Zinda (7/10). A good movie if not taken in the shadow of Oldboy of which it is a carbon copy. Of course, the director had to do away with the taboo subject and in the process made a mess the ending. Commendable and wooden performances by Sanjay Dutt and john Abraham, respectively, delivered atop a superb background score.

Shattered glass (7.8/10). A powerful drama shedding light on the cut-throat world of journalism. Based on a true story, it portrays the meteoric rise of a young writer-journalist, and the consequent downfall when his deception got unearthed. U can’t help sympathize with him in the end even though u know he his guilty of having fabricated more than half of the 41 articles he wrote for ‘The New Republic’.

Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story (7.5/10). Stewie is the ultimate harami, perhaps second only to Eric Cartman (South Park). U will like this movie if u like this conversation:
Brian Griffin: This is the perfectly destroyed spider web.
Stewie Griffin: Where's the spider?
Brian Griffin: Knock, knock!
Stewie Griffin: Who's there?
Brian Griffin: I ate him!

12 Angry Men. (8.5/10). A jury room with 12 jurors inside will blow your mind away as they decide the fate of a boy accused of murdering his father. The 90 + something movie will drain ur emotions away as u are caught in the suspense built up in a simplistic set-up. Amazing.

Now, when do i get a ticket for Rang de basanti? :sigh: